Striving for Happiness: Is It Your Goal Too?

At a very young age, I understood that nine out of ten things that I did were failures. So I decided to do ten times more work to change the equation. I always believed that the secret to success, was the result of preparation, hard work and learning out of the failures. This was something which I kept on applying rightfully all throughout my career. At this juncture, I can proudly say that it did work for me!!!

Joyfulness is a state of mind!

Like many others, I too believed that my purpose of life should always be directed towards gaining happiness. But, my problem was in maintaining the joyful feeling within me which can last for long. I was quick to realize that the real wealth of my life would come from how joyful I am and how wonderful my experience of life journey is. So, I silently started exploring the ways that could take me there.

The first thing which I accepted, was that "it's my life and the experience of my life entirely depends on how well I nurture it". This important realization did sink into me absolutely and hence I was ready to make all the necessary changes that were needed to have a meaningful life.

Modern era: Our world is undergoing radical, disruptive changes at an accelerating speed. Innovation, digitalization, and technological progress are fundamentally transforming the whole industries, reshaping consumer demands, and is challenging conventional business logics.

To keep up to the pace of the changing environment, we all are trying our level best to quickly adapt to the changes happening around us.

However while doing so, one thing that is getting affected is our health (both physical and mental). We unknowingly are becoming a machine wherein our actions are no more been driven by emotions, rather it is directed towards ensuring our supremacy over others. We are constantly keeping our mind engaged in trying to find out, how we are being perceived by others. Our sense of satisfaction is influenced mostly on the basis of the validation received from others. We often work to impress and not to express ourselves.

Ego: Our feeling of self-importance has become so big that we at no point of time can accept any ignoring attitude of others. Any act that goes against our wish, often disturbs our mind and leads to frustration, stress, depression and so on.

My Realization: At one point of time, I could make out that my actions were slowly becoming mechanical and monotonous, I started feeling that I was losing my real self. Achievements did give me lot of happiness, but such feelings were not lasting for too long. In just few days, I used to be back to my normal mental state, striving hard again for getting to my next goal. So I knew, that it is time for me to introspect!

With the passing of time, I recognized that my desire to achieve my goals / dreams were so strong that it created a deep impression on my brain. In one word the brain got programmed and as a result, it never allowed me to relax and enjoy my achievements, rather it kept pushing me for my next one.

I noticed that my brain always starts processing the next target, the moment something got over. So, at that juncture, I felt the need of redefying my goals and train my mind accordingly. I understood that only by maintaining joy should not be a goal by itself, rather it should be a necessary ambience of life. If the ambience is not set correctly then whatever I achieve in life would just go for a waste.

When mind is not joyful, anything you do will never be of great satisfaction, it will always be monotonous and mechanical. You will not find the right kind of energy to think big, innovate newer ideas or strategize the moves. In short, your mind will not support your actions rightfully. So it's predominant to be joyful from inside.

Let's be joyful from within!!!

I felt, Happiness is the outer expression of an emotion, it is characterized by the feelings of satisfaction and fulfilment. Whereas Joy is a state of mind and it comes from within, it is more stable and consistent. Emotions are normally more unstable and even-hanging.

If we do a self-scrutiny, we will realize that our mind often get filled with unnecessary complex thoughts that keep us away from mental peace. Therefore, even having everything some people are still unhappy, whereas people having relatively little are still joyful.

The only reason that differentiates the mental state of this two sets of people is -"one keep focusing on what they have, hence are always happy, whereas the other set keep focusing on what they don't have and start craving for more, resulting in unhappiness".

The feeling of unhappiness generally creeps into our mind due to our behavioural patterns, causing out of worries about the future, negative addictions, past regrets, excessive stress, social pressure and many more. Such thoughts often lead to an imbalance in mental health condition.

Chemical imbalance in the brain generally leads to 'panic attacks', where a feeling of sudden intense anxiety gets triggered. During such times, the logical thinking ability starts malfunctioning. It is very painful for those people who are either undergoing or have undergone such circumstances.

I can say all this with great clarity, as I have experienced such a condition for a brief period of time in my life. External medication was of no help for me, but however it was my self-realization and my willpower to fight, actually took me out of the mess. It is during that period I realized the significance of a healthy "Mind" and immediately started working on it to keep it fit and joyful. Few changes which I made to balance my lifestyle were: Yoga, physical exercise, mindful meditation -which helped me in reducing the anxious feelings and improved my mood, read various motivational, spiritual and physiological books, Listened to soft music, body massage - it helps in lowering the stress hormone (i.e. cortisol) and increases dopamine and serotonin activities within the brain and many more. Under this phase I could learn how to navigate through problems, handle stress, anxiety, anger and fear. Problems will keep coming automatically but one has to choose to be happy and joyful. The process might sound very easy, but to achieve it, a lot of discipline, effort and time is needed. However nothing is impossible, if there's a will, there's always a way!!!

My Worry: One thing which keeps disturbing me in the recent time, is about the circadian clock which the 'Gen Z' is following. A survey conducted by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine has found that 93% of 'Gen Z' have lost sleep because they stayed up "past their bedtime" to view or participate in social media. Research also indicates that 'Gen Z' are currently the most stressed demographic of people. The American Psychological Association (APA) reports that: 90% of Gen Z experienced psychological or physical symptoms as a result of stress in the last year.

My worry is all the more as my daughter who is a corporate lady, falls under 'Gen Z' category. The behavioural pattern which I observe in her, is exactly the same as spoken in the above survey/research. As a parent, I will be the happiest person the day she realizes the importance of the circadian rhythm and starts to correct herself. However till such time, I will keep motivating and inspiring her so that she can reach there.

Facts: As per "World Happiness Report 2022", India Stood at 136 out of 150 countries, while Pakistan was ahead on the 121 spot.

Coming back to the subject, let me briefly talk about my understanding about the difference between happiness and joyfulness.

• Happiness is always temporary as it comes purely from external factors, whereas joy is long-lasting as it comes from within. One can feel joy even without any influence of external factors, but happiness cannot be without it.

• Happiness is generally focused on the future moments, such as material objects, chasing career growth, relationship and so on, it distract you from living in the present moment. Such emotions causes a negative turmoil in both mind and heart. This is why you will find people who keep searching for happiness their entire lives, but ends up losing themselves in the process.

• Joy is a state of mind which comes from within and is the key to a peaceful life. When your mind is filled with joy, you are less anxious, afraid and fearful of the future. Difficulties will still come, but you will have better mental clarity in dealing with such situations.

Love in doing: Our inner joy actually comes from doing all those things that we really love to do. I quote Marc Anthony, who says - "if you do what you love, you'll never work a day in your life". Of course this expression doesn't mean that you will literally never have to work a day in your life. Rather it implies that when you love your work, it feels like a choice more than a burden. As a whole, it adds value and meaning to your life, and fills your soul rather than exhausting the energy.

But, not very often we are lucky enough to choose our career path according to our desire. There are times when we have to accept whatever comes our way, due to internal or external circumstances. However, choosing a wrong path can lead straight to mental health issues, anxiety, anger problems, depression and addiction. So we need to quickly realize and come out of such situations immediately for own good.

We all know that a dream does not become reality through magic or luck; it takes sweat, determination and lot of hard work. But while achieving our dreams, we must not forget to maintain a balanced living.

Pursue you passion: Different people have different passion, like: photography, travelling, singing, music, creativity, story/play writing and so on. I believe that we should always follow our passion some day or the other, as it is the only thing that will keep us engaged, energetic and joyful all throughout your journey.

Ultimate Goal: If we can keep all our negative emotions aside (like: greed, fear, jealousy, anger, emptiness, guilt, loneliness, frustration and inadequacy), then I am sure we will be able to experience our journey more meaningfully.

Yes, it's true that I have reached a stage where I can sit back, relax and pen down my experiences accumulated over time on areas which I feel are important and might help others.

Truth of Life: The sooner we realize, better it is for us, that "the real wealth of our life comes from how joyful we are and how well are we been able to experience the wonderful journey of life".

It's one life, so better be concerned on the process of being joyful, than just be an achiever!!!

Kaushik Sarkar,

Mail id: tokaushiksarkar@gmail.com.

Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article are solely based on my personal experiences and perceptions. I do not intend to cause any offense or hurt anyone's feelings. Readers are encouraged to interpret the content in their own context and discretion. Few images were sourced from Google (free downloads).